He just messaged me to say that the girl our friend was interested in is actually interested in him. And he of course likes her...of course. Our friend had asked her on a date and she agreed but suggested the he come too. Apparently she made it clear that she is actually way more interested in dating him and they flirted all night. He plans to ask her out.
Great.
Well tell that to the butterflies that erupted in my stomach as soon as I read this. Fucking great. I hate that I let myself invest any emotions into him. I know that he won't reciprocate them. Not to the level I want. Hell I don't even KNOW what I want. But when ever he starts showing interest, let alone dating someone I get all jealous for a few minutes until my rational self steps in and says that it isn't like we are in a relationship or that he didn't already tell you that there would be NO relationship.
Its actually good though because as soon as my butterflies subside I start thinking straight again and realize that we AREN'T together and its NOT happening so I should stop this game of denial & get back into the dating game. Which I did by logging back onto plentyoffish.com. Thing is that I'm considering moving in the fall and I'm not sure I'm interested in dating right now but then that's just another excuse to not make changes in my life again. Just like fixating on him is.
I am so emotionally fucked up!
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