The cherry

Lately I'm a roller coaster of emotions. Today I was super excited, our tickets finally showed up & it looked like everything was a go for our trip. Then I log on to myspace when I get home from work and find out Small Sins had to cancel, Scissor Sisters will still be on but that wasn't the plan and now everything is ruined. Keith is bailing because he wants to be able to afford a trip to Vancouver to see his sister & this gives him an easy out. I can't blame him either. Alan & I could still go but I just don't feel like its as exciting anymore. I'm literally close to tears. If I let myself I'm sure I would start crying.

I'm so frustrated!! Why am I so emotional lately?

I was hoping this trip would be a nice moral booster for myself and now things just keep on sucking.

I meant to just write that I was annoyed that my trip was ruined and now I'm all depressed again. This sucks. I hate that the majority of my entries have been so mopey and self pitying. I'm not usually like this! I'm a happy, optimistic person and yet I just feel so lost lately. That I don't understand myself. That my rational self has disconnected from my emotional one. The things that make me me aren't working as a team! and I don't know how to fix it. And since I so desperately want to its killing me.

I don't know what to do anymore.